citrus soak

citrus slices; floating in

a tub of water bubbling;

with salt sunken into it’s

shallow frame; oh what a

heavenly scent; this fusion

creates – savoury acid;

an ideal soak for this

evening’s despair.

 

 

strength in presence

i feel like awareness is important in cultivating our individual strength and endurance. not simply in the physical sense of building strength and resistance, or developing a stronger immunity. self awareness, is necessary in sitting with discomfort and pain. to try not to hide it or bury it; but rather an unspoken courage to remain in the knowing of it’s presence. to know that discomfort is there for this moment, it’s stinging, sharp, dulling, and nauseating existence. in the midst of head spinning vertigo, shortened breaths, quivering of shaking hands, clammy with sweat – this might appear to be not just challenging, but impossible – wishful thinking.

it is difficult; acknowledging it’s presence and saying ‘hey, i do not fear you, i’m not trying to shift. instead, let’s wait for you to pass when you’re ready’. this is something i can’t quite get the hang of yet, but it’s what i’m working towards.

focusing on it’s reoccurrence is seldom of much help – this only serves to instigate more worry and uncertainty into the future, which is not yet here. sinking into the depth of your discomfort will only seek to consume you. try, if and when you can to wander across the surface. in due time, steadying your mind with stillness – without trying to negate or distract yourself from the physical pinches. balance yourself on the level on which this pain resides. this may allow your thoughts to find a place, away from the anxious assumptions of what the future may hold.

bare ready

we are built on

beginnings – our

lives thirst for purpose,

sense, magic and

wonder. we skirt

around fantasies, stitching

possibilities across our

bodies, baring open

only these areas; dressed

and primed for judgment.

crumble

here, now –

crumble yourself

into fragments of

weathered trials.

burnt paper; into

the hands of whom

you love, strip

yourself clean, of

blame; your crosses.

bare open, the parts of

you, fit for gallows –

as you falter, hopeful

for acceptance.

 

 

weary spirit

invest your

time, your

efforts, your

love, your

grace, in

those who lift

your spirit.

 

upon reflecting on this; i was initially stunned that i had wrote such a seemingly selfish and unconcerned piece of writing. although relevant, and despite the truth it held – did i mean that we should discard those who couldn’t and wouldn’t uplift us? was this life we lived, simply meant to be barged through with consideration reserved, only for ourselves? of course not, and as i realised this wasn’t what i meant; my eyes began to peel wider in awareness for my thoughts, my heart, my well being.

 

 

surrender

softened fists; ease them into a state of prolonged pliability. mend what your mind seeks to amend, and where your hands find opportunity; make difference. develop internal wisdom to discern what should remain, and what can be altered. meet your capabilities, as you would a dear friend; allow the rest to be guided by our universal flow.

grant your body, the space to follow it’s breath; heaving soundless sighs, and inhaling even in the thick of air. as your lungs expand, tight with air, manifest all that is well; entering your being. with every out-breath, bow with gratitude for the hidden strength it requires, to allow what does not fill your spirit; to be released.

 

Live the actual moment

“When you are washing the dishes, washing the dishes must be the most important thing in your life. Just as when you are drinking tea, drinking tea must be the most important thing in your life. Drink your tea slowly and reverently, as if it is the axis on which the whole world revolves—slowly, evenly, without rushing toward the future. Live the actual moment. Only this actual moment is life.”

–  Thich Nhat Hanh

tamami

words of wisdom from my 8 year old student:

  1. It’s not good to have mos burger (Japanese fast food chain) daily
  2. try not to focus on the feeling
  3. fruit roll-ups are good for you and youtube has good recipe videos
  4. it’s no use having 20 packets of snacks with nobody to share with
  5. you should not go into the sea if you have tattoos on your body (the lifeguard might think you are a shark)

nightly reminders

the quiet crevice within me, is a lonesome hunter. her facade, sticks out like a sore thumb. a brilliant blue, amongst the midnight sky; speckled with timid, yellow stars. seeking, nothing more than the dampened warmth of familiarity. the comfort, of which knowing carries. similarity, through feel, sight, sound and thought.

the true spirit of solitude, is seldom concerned with comparative views and remarks. it bears, little desire for self-criticism and cynicism. maintaining a stillness in mind, is the ultimate goal. the assertive thought, to slow down and when necessary; pause all that is shifting and churning. a singular command, redirecting thought, action; pacing all that requires direct attention. this is a difficult skill, one that is alike most others- progressive. it requires armfuls of time, continuous effort and rigours discipline.

there are steps to take, and on occasion for a certain reason; you will sometimes have to stop walking altogether. for a minute’s rest, an hour’s call of duty. look around for reminders not to stop, entirely. at times, these reasons will have buried their visible parts, deep in trenches as they remain often unseen.

turn towards the internal, and listen; watch; as it spirals outward.