Despite the many self conflicts, raging within me – there is a growing light. Hidden between distractions I’ve poured myself into, these affiliations ground me in times of dire distress. It is a working list, unceasing to any given date or time – the same way we all are. Just tiny projects, all in progress. Littered across the world, different continents and circumstance but nonetheless all connected in this journey. I am abruptly reminded of these things, in moments of turmoil and darkness. In periods of mild joy, how quick I am to disconnect myself from these foundations, on which my life’s work could be based on.
I forget life is good, when it is. Conjuring methods to improve, fix, reiterate, and change a negative circumstance. Completely obliterating the present moment – the gift of sight, the movement of limbs, an ability to listen, to think, to choose. Your breath. Your still, beating heart. Resting amidst this internal disarray.
It won’t be another day – not for another 10 or so hours. This is another moment you have. A slate, though stained with last night’s grief and such loss. This is the slate you get, So build what you may from it.
Mold it, shape it, wreck it, refine it, buff it up, shatter it –
Do what you will with it, but always, always -make what you can of it.